5 things to know before dating a journalist

Nine things to know before dating an Austrian

Pulling an all-nighter for a hot date with MS Word and an avalanche of scribbled paperwork is much more lucrative than a sweaty session on your black satin sheets. Sorry, but not sorry. They are ridiculously observant: They know when you're lying, when you're speaking from your heart and when you're goddam bored.

Reasons to date a journalist

They're trained to sense the tone of an interviewee through the phone -- they're like guard dogs at an airport -- so never think you've said or done something that's gone under the table. Chances are, it'll come back to haunt you about four months and 18 days later, with a proper reference to the original scenario.

11 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Journalist

Plus, some journos even come with photographic memory -- that's a whole new level of freak show! They will remember your words: Whether you say it in writing or over the phone, journos don't forget words. They will remember whatever you say -- in lust or disgust -- and remind you of it. They are programmed to remember events and interviews, so to do follow-up stories, and they are fast-learners hence amazing at their job , so be careful with what comes out of your mouth around these fellas.

And while you're at it, know that they can manipulate the thesaurus a little too well; they will say words that mean one thing on face value and a crazy level of WTF when really read into. They will correct your grammar and spellings, all the time: A snobby trait that is really difficult to let go of -- journalists are trained writers and English language is part of their DNA.

Character Worksheets

Ensure your punctuations and spellings are under a vigil eye when you text or email them, because they will pick it within seconds, and won't be afraid to correct you. On the flip side, they will be the first ones to notice if your vocabulary is better than theirs, and just quietly, that's a big turn-on!

They are social media addicts: How awesome is that?! They will appreciate everything you do for them: This point is highly debatable.

Win a trip for two to Lisbon, Budapest or Turin!

Pop culture has a history of perpetuating journalists as arrogant, rude, selfish people who expect to get everything they want. Just keep in mind that our day involves dealing with rude interviewees, chasing useless PR people, and dealing with unthoughtful editors. All we ask for is someone with a bit of patience, and from there, whatever you do will undeniably go a long way. They will never be overly-attached: If not me, then by all means, grab your phone, and ask out the journo in your life.

I promise you a lifetime of adventure, and you can mark my word on that one. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.


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Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. Every sentence, clause and word has to carry its weight. This one should be a given for any writer under contract, but we all know writers who never quite seem to make their deadlines. Of course, all of this has been great for me, but there are things here you can apply to your own work as well.

You likely have more of an ear for dialogue than you realize, and you can always take the time to listen more. Economy of language is a must for any writer, as are those all-important deadlines. If you get stuck on something or you want to test out your ideas, those five words can really help you flesh out your ideas and stay on track.

This guest post is by Michael J. His most recent novel, the spy-fi thriller MJ Inception , is out in mass-market paperback today, and the sequel, MJ Shadows , is due out September


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